So, you’re unhappy at work, stuck in a career rut, have a boss you hate or work colleagues you can’t relate to. In short, it’s time to work out what you want, and how you’re going to get it.

What you need now is someone who will help you find the answers that seem to be eluding you. Someone to hold your hand and guide you in the right direction. Someone to support you and help move you forward. What you need is someone who will ask the kind of questions that make you think, and make the kind of observations that may surprise you. What you need is a coach, not a mate.

Whilst both will offer support, do not confuse them.

Your mate will commiserate with you, joining you in slagging off the boss you hate or who upset you. Your mate will be on hand with a large glass of wine, or two, a shoulder to cry on and some soothing words. Your mate will be on your side, regardless of whether you are right or wrong, listening to your outpourings and oohing and aahing in all the right places. Your mate, especially a ‘bestie’, may well drop everything to rush to your side. You will be left with the warm, fuzzy feeling of being loved and supported, but not necessarily with the solution to your underlying problems.

With coaching there’ll be no wine, only a cup of tea (you might even have to make this yourself if it’s an online session). You’ll also have to book your session which will typically last no more than an hour.

You’ll get to talk through your issue, cry if needs be, and receive focused, undivided attention. However, unlike ranting to your mates, you’ll be encouraged to think deep; you’ll be asked questions that will challenge your perception of what’s really going on.

It may take one session, it may take several depending on the issue, but by the end you’ll have a clear idea of the outcome that will work for you, an action plan to make it happen and, of course, support, encouragement, and a surge in confidence. You will feel uplifted knowing the next step you take will be the right one for you and that it will be a positive move forward.

Mates have their place but it’s important to be clear on the distinction between the two support networks. Coaching is action-orientated requiring time, commitment, and focused attention to shift the issues that have plagued you, getting you to where you want to be.

For an empowering, supportive, action-orientated coaching session that will move you forward, please contact me, Nicola, at Fired Up Careers

Nicola Lyle is the Managing Director of Fired Up Careers and an Executive Coach & Leadership Trainer. She started her career in the drinks industry where she worked for over 15 years in sales and customer marketing. She has been a qualified and practicing coach since 2005, was a trainer for the Ministry of Defence for 3 years in Germany and currently works as a leadership and management trainer working with Executives in a wide range of industries.

Nicola is hugely passionate about helping people to have the career that fulfils and empowers them to live their best life. She offers Executive coaching, group coaching programmes and occasional retreats. Just drop her a line, she’d love to help you get your career on track.

You can contact her at Nicola@firedupcoaching.org or find Fired Up Careers on Instagram or take a look at www.firedupcareers.org

I’m sure we’ve all been there at one time or another; overlooked for the longed-for promotion, passed-over for a more suitable model or moved ‘sideways’ under the guise of a move up – so what do you do about it when it happens to you?

No doubt there will be feelings of shock, anger, disappointment or inadequacy – it’s how you deal with it that will shape the rest of your career.

WALK AWAY OR GIVE UP?

You could find yourself in trouble if you allow those feelings to overpower you. Feelings of ill-will can lead to workplace resentment which, in turn, could lead to the deliberate undermining of colleagues or the person who got ‘your job’.

What we should be doing in these difficult times is examining why we have been ‘overlooked’, the easier option however is to allow bitterness and anger to creep in, or the green-eyed monster to take control. As a result, work relationships start to erode and, more worryingly, your own self esteem and maybe even integrity.

It might be easy to avoid the fact you’ve started engaging in work-place sabotage or passive-aggressive behaviour; on the surface doing your job whilst at the same time, doing your best to make life difficult for those you’ve decided are at fault. In short, acting like a sulky child who didn’t get what they wanted.

Even if you truly love the company you work for, this behaviour can only result in your own unhappiness, increased resentment and ultimately may end in resignation or dismissal.

WHAT’S THE ALTERNATIVE?

OK, so you may have just received, in your view, a monumental slap-in-the-face by not being promoted, given the new project or moved to your dream role, but this is a good time to sit yourself down and ask why? Why was I overlooked? What did the person who got the job have that I don’t?

These are difficult questions to ask, mainly because no-one wants to feel they are second-best or have to face their own shortcomings however, asking those questions is essential if you want to grow into the person who is able to take these setbacks and learn from them.

Sit down with your boss and find out why you were overlooked; what do you need to improve upon, what could you have done differently, where are your skill gaps?

Armed with this information you can start to look at things objectively; to re-frame, refocus, and thereby move forward to a more rewarding role within your existing company, or a more challenging and lucrative role somewhere else – ultimately to grow into the person you want, and need, to be.

Nicola Lyle is the Managing Director of Fired Up Careers and an Executive Coach & Leadership Trainer. She started her career in the drinks industry where she worked for over 15 years in sales and customer marketing. She has been a qualified and practicing coach since 2005, was a trainer for the Ministry of Defence for 3 years in Germany and currently works as a leadership and management trainer working with Executives in a wide range of industries.

Nicola is hugely passionate about helping people to have the career that fulfils and empowers them to live their best life. She offers Executive coaching, group coaching programmes and occasional retreats. Just drop her a line, she’d love to help you get your career on track.

You can contact her at Nicola@firedupcoaching.org or find Fired Up Careers on Instagram or take a look at www.firedupcareers.org